“I left you a pass with Eric.” “Yeah,” I smiled, pulling it from my bra where I had placed it and showing it to her. “I got it alright.” It had been forever since I had seen Shelly; not since she married into money and finally opened the club she had always wanted to own. She did not seem much different than before, the same bubbly laugh and the smile that never seemed to leave her face. I envied just how happy she seemed to be at all times, though I was sure there was something dark behind it, something fighting to get out, but she held it in tight. “Want to go up?” she asked me, taking my hand in hers and looping our fingers together. “It will be fun, I promise.” “Sure,” I agreed happily. I had been wanting to go up, I was just nervous of what was up there. I was not sure that I was VIP material. “Let's do it.” Shelly gripped my fingers tight and led me off to a set of stairs in the corner. There was a man standing in front of it, but he quickly stepped aside when he saw. I’d made arrangements for Emily to be at the University Childcare Center while I went to classes. But that didn’t mean I was ready to leave my two-week-old baby with someone else. I was a wreck. I stood outside the door of the childcare center for ten minutes crying. I wanted to rush back in and rescue my daughter.Lily had gone to Babies-R-Us and got me some supplies. A breast pump and baggies for the milk that went into the bottles. When I delivered the breast milk to the girl at the daycare, she smiled and actually engaged me in a conversation about how it was working for me and how long I planned to keep expressing milk for my child. The girl wasn’t much older than me, but she was one of those hippie earth mother types who was all for doing everything naturally. She wanted to know if I’d managed a completely natural childbirth or if I’d had an epidural. I don’t remember anyone having offered me one. I probably would have said yes.I had a hard time using the breast pump the first.
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